Telling Off Without Sounding Off

Written by Anthony Douglas | 13 May 2010

Recently I’ve been doing some study on the relationship between grace and rebuke in the letter to Titus. There’s an interesting section right in the middle of the book (2:11-13) that’s worth some thought:

‘For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ…’

We often speak about the value and need to encourage one another, and while this is something that we can always do more of, it’s an easy thing. People like to be encouraged. But rebuking? That’s a smidgeon less popular. Nobody likes being told off, do they?

That’s where these words from Titus are so helpful. Firstly, we are told that the coming of Jesus is in itself a rebuke to us. That Jesus had to come and die for us forces us to confront the fact that we have plenty for which we need to be forgiven. I think we get this. But secondly, and more surprisingly, is the way that rebuking is seen as normal, everyday discipleship ‘in this present age’.

Our trouble with being rebuked normally is that we think we shouldn’t have to be. We shouldn’t have made that mistake, or done that thing wrong. But if we expect rebuke, if we accept it as part of the way that all of us grow as believers … then it’s less shameful, isn’t it? Not so much of an exercise in pointing out our failures, but more about calling us back to the grace of Christ and lives that honour him. It’s affirming: we anticipate growth in godliness.

Two verses later, Paul tells Titus to ‘encourage and rebuke’ the members of his church. It might be tricky to get the balance right, but surely it’s worth trying. After all, as the household of God, we are family – and that’s got to be the safest place to try it out!